Illicit
by CeliaEquus
Summary: Remus catches some sozzled Slytherins zonked out after curfew. Madame Rosmerta will be in need of some comfort after this. Why? Read on. Usual disclaimers apply. Duh. Enjoy! Tied for 2nd place in the Marauders Map challenge! Huzzah!


"Illicit"

Masculine giggles came from around the corner. Remus frowned. What was going on? He crept around, and was astonished to see several Slytherins sitting on the ground, sprawled out, surrounded by empty bottles. He raised his eyebrows as he shone his wand over them. Alcohol. How they hell did they get their hands on alcohol? Maybe they got some through the mail, though that was doubtful. Perhaps they obtained it in Hogsmeade? Either way, this needed to be reported.

At least it was Slytherins. The werewolf grinned. The others would find this hilarious.

Not questioning the ethics of doing so, he cast an Incarcerous Charm over the drunk students. They barely noticed the ropes that snaked around their bodies.

"Ten points each from Slytherin for drinking alcohol on school premises," he said, wishing that he really could dock points. It just felt good to say it. With an uncharacteristic smirk, he placed a charm over them so that only he knew they were there, and then went to find Professor Dumbledore. This was, after all, a serious matter.

* * *

They were taken to the Slytherin Common Room. Professor Slughorn was wringing his hands. Remus personally thought that only two things concerned him: one, that the alcohol wasn't the best stuff to be had; and two, that they had been caught, by a Gryffindor at that.

"I have floo called Madame Rosmerta," Dumbledore said, looking stern, "as she reported some of her alcohol stolen this evening. She will be able to identify if these," he indicated the 'loot', "are the missing bottles. If so, you will compensate her for each and every one, not to mention face the punishment for stealing, which can include expulsion." They were too out of it to take in much of his speech at all, and kept bursting into little bits of laughter.

Finally, Rosmerta appeared in the fireplace. Her eyes lit up when she saw the bottles, before her smile appeared. "Oh dear. Yes; that's them." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Professor Dumbledore. This has never happened to me before. I can't think how…"

"You are all dismissed," the headmaster told the Slytherins. "Go to bed. We will speak again in the morning, before breakfast."

Slughorn shooed the boys into their dormitories, and then left. Remus was still hanging about in the shadows. Curiosity compelled him to stay; and Rosmerta looked so distressed that he was moved by pity. Sure enough, after the Head of Slytherin was gone, she covered her face with her hands.

"I really don't know what happened, headmaster. I'm usually so careful…"

"It only takes once for you to drop your guard," he said, frowning. "Were you distracted by any students today?"

"I… I can't remember…"

"Rosmerta, I do not insist that you refrain from serving alcohol on Hogsmeade days, as it is your livelihood, and you have always kept it well-protected. But what happened today must not be repeated. While I understand that they are more at fault, you must also take responsibility. There have been attempts at stealing from the Three Broomsticks before."

"I understand, sir."

"Do you have enough floo powder to return home?"

"Yes, headmaster."

"Then good night." Dumbledore left, and Rosmerta sat on the couch, once again burying her face in her hands. Remus crept forward, and eventually sat down beside her.

"Hello," he said, and she jumped.

"Oh. Hello, Remus."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. I'm just… oh, I don't know _what_ happened today!" She groaned. "How could they have got in? Where I keep the bottles… no students can get in."

"Are there age restriction charms?"

"Yes, of course."

"Is there any way to break them?"

"They're keyed to my magical signature."

"Oh." They sat in silence. "Look," he put his hand on her shoulder, "the headmaster was probably more annoyed with himself than he is with you. And probably Filch, too, and the teachers for not checking properly. It's really not your fault. Those students will be banned from visiting Hogsmeade. They may even face Azkaban."

"And it'll be all my fault," she said. "I wish I hadn't got out of bed this morning."

"It could have happened to anyone," Remus said, squeezing her shoulder. "Come on, Rosmerta. Cheer up. There would have been some way for them to get in. Maybe they… maybe they used some kind of potion to age themselves. They could have even brewed Polyjuice!"

"Yes," she said. "That's true. That probably would have done it. Well, I know what to do in the way of increasing security now." She smiled properly, and stroked Remus' hair away from his eyes. "You're a nice lad, Remus Lupin. Why don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Oh… well, I'm not particularly interested in anyone." He blushed, deciding not to mention his crush on her. But then he had a thing for unattainable people.

Rosmerta smiled, and patted his cheek. "You're so sweet. Any young girl would be lucky to have you for a boyfriend."

No, she wouldn't, he thought. However, any further thinking was cut off when Rosmerta leaned down and pressed her lips against his. Had it not been his first kiss, he would have jumped away in shock. Instead, he sat there, and pressed back a little, still somewhat astounded. She broke away, and grinned at Remus. He tried to speak, but seemed to be speechless. Madame Rosmerta stood, and walked to the fireplace, looking at him over her shoulder.

"After graduation," she said, "come to me. If you liked that, I can promise you even more… fun." She tilted her head. "See you next time you're at the Three Broomsticks." She winked, and flooed out, leaving a blushing Remus behind.

"Can't wait for graduation," he muttered, and he grinned as he left the Slytherin Common Room. Now he was glad he'd swapped prefect duties with Lily.

…Otherwise he wouldn't have got those Slytherins into trouble.

**

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**

Yes, of course that's why, Remus. Of course. *Pats him on the back* Of course. (We'll allow him his delusions.)

**This is for the Marauders Map Challenge/Contest. I was given Rosmerta, Remus, and the Slytherin Common Room. This is what came to me, after much thought. Did I disappoint? I hope not.**

**Review, please!**


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